Mission No246 Crookshanks
by Dominatrice
Summary: Draco grinned and clapped both other boys on the shoulders. “Game, set and match my friends! Tomorrow, we are bringing the Trio down.” Written for scubarang, humorous oneshot, D/G.


**Mission No.246 - Crookshanks**

Theodore smiled to himself, this was going too well. Raising his wand he allowed a few green sparks to shoot out of the end before ducking behind the boulder again. Mission #246 was going beautifully.

A little further down the tree line Blaise sat, nestled up high in the branches of an ancient Oak. He acknowledged Theo's signal with a few blue sparks from his own wand and readied the net that lay in his lap. Leaning out as far as he dared from his branch Blaise strained to see Draco, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw that the blond was in the correct position for this stage of the plan. Relaxing back into the forked branches Blaise pulled out his checklist, and a somewhat squashed quill, from his trouser pocket and ticked off step number three: Get into position. Steps number one and two consisted of 'A shot of fire whiskey for good luck' and 'Demand ham from the House Elves' respectively. Now, all he had to do was wait.

Draco crouched behind one of the boulders near Hagrids hut, if they managed to pull this plan off it would be epic, but the thought didn't stop him from cursing the rock digging into his bum. Banishing such distractions from his mind, Draco pulled out his Omnioculars, after twiddling with the appropriate knobs for a few moments he nodded in satisfaction and focused in on the near window of the hut.

Weasley, of the male variety, was moving across the window to the table. _The blockhead_, Draco thought rather uncharitably, _he's always in my way_. After several huffs of acute irritation the lanky redhead must have picked up the message and obligingly moved out of Draco's field of vision. Twisting slightly in his limited position Draco craned his neck so that he could see further right into the hut. There was Potter, in all his self-righteous glory, at the table with that oaf Hagrid... Weasley was by the sink and – ha! Yes, there was Granger with that foul specimen! _What's its name again?_ Draco wondered distractedly, _Crockshin? Crookbank? Crook something I'm sure_. Ah, there was Granger picking it up. Draco grinned to himself, they were moving towards the door. Time to send the signal.

Theo straightened up, a wide grin spreading across his face as he saw the silvery sparks shoot up into the air, Draco had given his signal; the Trio were leaving. Rubbing his hands together gleefully Theo removed the wrapped ham from his pocket and the vial of Dreamless Sleep potion from the other. Carefully dripping a few drops of the potion onto the piece of meat he proceeded to tear it up into several small pieces. Slipping Draco's Invisibility Cloak on (or rather, _Lucius' _cloak) Theo moved to within a reasonable distance of the huts entrance and laid the first piece of ham down.

Blaise was grinning like a Cheshire cat. _Not like that moody bag of fur!_ He thought rather gleefully. He had seen Draco's signal and was tracking Theo's progress by the light footprints in the springy grass he could see appearing. Just as the footprints came around the corner and stopped under his tree he saw the door of the hut open and the Trio step out, Granger clutching a bundle of ginger fluff to her chest. Blaise smirked; their fourth conspirator had cast a Befuddling Charm on the cat earlier in the morning, knowing that Granger would take the cat to Hagrid when it started to exhibit abnormal behaviour.

Here the Slytherins had laid their trap.

As the Gryffindors passed the boulder Draco was crouched behind he cast a small stinging hex, carefully aimed to catch the already irritable cat. With a startled yowl it sprung out of Grangers arms and landed on the ground with hair on end, whiskers twitching. Draco's lips curved up into a smirk as he watched the cat catch the scent of the ham. A small pink tongue came out and licked once, twice, at its whiskers and then it was bounding away from the Trio and around the corner out of sight.

"Crookshanks!" Came Grangers startled yelp, her surprised expression quickly replaced with one of worry as she started off after him. "Come back, you're not _well_!" She wailed at the end. Weasley rolled his eyes and caught her elbow with his hand.

"Cut it out Hermione, you heard Hagrid – he's _fine_. Probably knows he just needs fresh air or... something." He said in the exasperated tones of somebody who didn't really care. Draco heard Potter mumble something in the affirmative of that statement and, finally, Granger allowed herself to be led away, casting fretful looks over her shoulder as she went. _Well_, thought Draco, _Potter and Weasley did something useful for once. Must check my diary for when the Apocalypse was scheduled._

Theo watched eagerly as the cat leapt from Grangers arms – _Well done Draco!_ – and proceeded to follow his ham-trail away from the building and towards the tree line. As he watched he saw the cat begin to slow slightly with every piece of ham he ate, the bandy legs tottering slightly until, finally, he came to stand under Blaise's tree.

Blaise eyed the somewhat wandering path of the cat as it made its way towards him. He sniggered; it looked drunk, especially with those bandy legs staggering every which way! Finally it came to an unsteady halt almost directly beneath him. As it slowly took up the last piece of ham Blaise made a kissing noise; it looked up. Waggling his fingers at it he let the net fall, the weighted corners connecting with the ground with an audible _thud_.

Clambering down from his perch as gracefully as he could, Blaise met up with Theo and Draco. In a small circle around the prone form of the cat the three boys stood quietly, watching it make a few swipes at the net before the potion fully kicked in. Slowly its eyes closed, the claws retracted and it slept.

Phase One: accomplished.

_/x/x/x/x/x/_

Ginny sat by the window of the common room, chin propped in her hands as she watched the fading sunset. Over by the hearth Ron and Harry were playing a game of Chess, the cheerful flames in the fireplace glinting enticingly off of the golden playing pieces. The sound of an irritated huff to her right drew Ginny's attention. Twisting in her seat slightly she fixed Hermione with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you huffing about now?" She sighed, Hermione had been in a foul mood all day and she'd be damned if she put up with it much longer.

"Crookshanks_ still_ hasn't come back." Hermione snapped, then bit her lip and placed a hand on Ginny's arm. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be snappy. But I _am_ worried about him."

Ginny smiled consolingly and patted Hermione's hand.

"Not to worry, but he _is_ a cat. I know he was a little off this morning, but... I really don't think there's anything for you to worry about." Ginny reassured, keeping her impatience in check as much as humanly possible. For Merlin's sake, it was a _cat_! Hermione reluctantly agreed and then turned her attention towards the chess game at hand.

Moving away from the window seat Ginny made a show of yawning, made her excuses and ascended the stairs to the Sixth Year girls' dormitory. Nodding her head to her roommates she settled into the middle of her bed and with a swish of her wand, drew the hangings. As expected there was a note on her pillow. Picking up the precisely folded piece of parchment, Ginny took a moment to inhale the scent before opening it.

_To: Pretendy_Gryff_81_

_From: ThePuppeteer.; .God; Foul-Tempered-Slyth._

_Date: 3/5/98_

_Re: Mission #246: Crookshanks._

_Phase One complete. Phase two being set in motion. Be at location for Phase Three at 1600 hours prompt tomorrow. _

_Bl**se – we mean .God – requests you bring more of those cookies. Th--, ThePuppeteer also demands more _

_of your homemade fudge. I, Foul-Tempered-Slyth (which is not true), demands nothing other than your cooperation. _

_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HENCHMAN!?!?!?!?_

Ginny smirked as she once again allowed the lingering scent of Draco's cologne to drift over her. Oh, tomorrow was going to be a very, very good day.

_/x/x/x/x/x/_

The three males out of the four plotters were gathered in Draco's Head Boy room toasting their success of the plan so far. Carefully pouring each of them a shot of his top secret stash of Firewhiskey, Draco enjoyed the tingle of rebellion that went through him. Relaxing back into his favourite armchair Draco raised his shot glass to the other boys.

"To Mission Number 246." He declared, touching the rim of his glass with the other two before downing it.

They were busy laughing and discussing the following days plans when the yowling of a very upset cat caught their attention. Rising from his chair, with only the slightest stagger, Theo crossed to the cage they were keeping the beast in and laid on his stomach so that he was at eye-level with it.

"You know what? I think it's _cute_." He declared, with all the self-righteousness only somebody with an ounce of alcohol in them can possess. Blaise snorted.

"You need your eyes testing; if that's cute then Pansy's a Goddess." He laughed, high-fiving Draco as they chuckled at Theo's reddening complexion.

"Pansy _is_ a Goddess!" Theo snapped, ears turning an impressive shade of fuchsia as the other two boys laughed even harder.

"You've been spending too much time with Weasley." Draco observed, "How else would you be going so red?"

"Ha! I spend too much time with Weasley? That's rich!" Crowed Theo, clambering back to his feet. "If you'd of been any closer to her yesterday your head would have been right down her top!"

Draco could only smirk.

"I know, sheer brilliance."

Before Blaise could interject with his no doubt witty comment, the fireplace glowed green and a piece of parchment appeared in the flames. Plucking it out, before Theo or Blaise could get their hands on it, Draco took a brief second to inhale the faint scent of Ginny Weasley before opening it.

_To: ThePuppeteer; .God; Foul-Tempered-Slyth_

_From: Pretendy_Gryff_81_

_Date: 3/5/98_

_Re: Mission #246: Crookshanks. _

_From the antagonised yelling I can hear from the Common Room I see that Phase Two has indeed been _

_set into motion – what on earth did you put in that note? Don't worry; I'll have them there at 1600 hours. _

_Cookies and Fudge shall be forthcoming when your end of the deal is held up, O Foul-Tempered-Slyth (SO true!). _

_What have I done to them? I've made them MY Henchman. _

_Deal with it. _

Draco had to be impressed at the Gryffs attitude. Folding the message up again before either Theo or Blaise could read it, he tucked it into his breast pocket. He could still smell the slightly flowery aroma that clung to the parchment.

"She says everything's in order at her end and, giving the racket she can hear, she thinks they must have gotten the message." Draco grinned and clapped both other boys on the shoulders. "Game, set and match my friends! Tomorrow, we are bringing the Trio _down_." 

_/x/x/x/x/x/_

"I still think it's a trap." Insisted Hermione. It was lunch time and Ginny was having a harder job than she'd expected convincing the Trio to meet the 'anonymous' senders of the note. It was clutched currently in the hands of Hermione, who has spent a good ten minutes trying to find any hexes or suchlike on it before, finally, admitting that it was clean. Ginny sighed, emotional blackmail it would have to be.

"I understand why you're apprehensive Hermione and besides, maybe it's best." Hermione's forehead furrowed in confusion. "Well you know... I know he's yours, but he's only a cat. I suppose it's silly to risk getting into trouble over a cat, isn't it?" Ginny smiled beguilingly as she watched the seeds of doubt take root in Hermione's mind. Watching the older girl jut her chin out, Ginny knew she had won.

"Of course it's not silly!" exclaimed Hermione, "I can't let these, these... _people_ get away with stealing my cat! You'll come with me, won't you Ron? Harry? And you of course Ginny, your Bat Bogey Hex may come in useful."

Ignoring the begrudged agreements of Ron and Harry, Ginny nodded her yes, laying a comforting hand on Hermione's arm to show her she had her support on the matter. Raising her eyes she made contact with a pair of quicksilver ones almost instantaneously. He'd been watching her.

Ginny quirked an eyebrow, a small smile curling her lips as she gave a slight nod to show that her part was done. He gave her one, lazy wink before turning his head to Blaise and Theo, presumably to update them.

Fighting back the instinctive blush as her stomach flip-flopped, Ginny sternly told herself that the wink meant nothing. Draco Malfoy was simply a flirt and there was nothing else to it. Right.

_/x/x/x/x/x/_

Theo drummed his fingers slowly against his thigh, there were several minutes until it was technically four o'clock, but he had expected Ginny to get them here already. He had to admit, he'd had his reservations when Blaise had first insisted they brought her in on the plan, but she'd proved invaluable. She was quirky and devious, she had a wicked sense of humour and how she'd ever gotten sorted into Gryffindor he wasn't entirely sure. In fact, if he wasn't so deeply enamoured with Pansy he was sure the redheaded vixen would have ensnared him by now.

Blaise watched Draco's foot tap out a repetitive pattern as they waited for the Trio and Ginny to show. He was amused. Blaise could see quite clearly that his dear, neurotic friend had become hopelessly infatuated with the sixteen year old temptress and it was causing him no end of hilarity. To be fair to Draco she had entranced them all in some way. If Theo weren't so taken with Pansy he had freely admitted that he would have taken an active interest, and Blaise himself was too intrigued by a certain Ravenclaw to pursue any relationship with Ginny. Draco, however, had a clear run up.

All Blaise and Theo had to do was give the boy a helping hand. Enter Mission #247: Romeo and Juliette. So it wasn't the most inventive name, but the humour was not lost on the two boys. For obvious reasons, it had been necessary to exclude Draco (and Ginny) from this plan, but it could only proceed on the basis that Mission 246 was at least partially effective.

Draco sighed slightly, one more minute and then Ginny and the Trio would be late. He was impatient. Just as the hand on his watch struck four, Ginny appeared from around the corner, the Trio hot on her heels. She was babbling on about something nonsensical, her eyes wide and innocent as she made a show of trying to spot where the 'thieves' could be lurking. She really was quite amusing.

As the four rounded the bend Blaise and Theo stepped forward so that they stood shoulder to shoulder with Draco, conveniently hiding the cage with Crookshanks in behind them.

Ron was the first to react; pulling up short with a curse he grabbed his wand from his trouser pocket and held it ready. Harry was a split second behind, his shoulders stiffening as his eyes zeroed in on Malfoy. Hermione, as always, was the most sensible of the three. She put a steadying hand on each of the boys' arms and settled for glaring at the three boys, lips pulled into a small, tight line.

"Well, I guess I should have known it would be you." She huffed, her brown eyes snapping fire in their direction. Draco couldn't help himself, his eyes drifted over to Ginny for a moment; her brown eyes were much nicer than Grangers. Ginny's were a deep mocha, almost black in some lights, whereas Grangers were almost... muddy, in comparison. Giving himself a mental kick he donned his finest smirk.

"Of course, Granger. You've no _idea_ the disappointment you've caused me in not figuring it out before now." He sneered, internally laughing at the angry flush that spread across her face. Glancing at Ginny again he saw her suppressing her laughter as best she could as she hung back slightly. Draco basked in the glow of satisfaction, he'd amused her.

"Cut the crap Malfoy." Snarled Ron, "What have you done with Crookshanks?"

Draco shared a small grin with Theo and Blaise before stepping aside and indicating the caged cat with a flourish.

Crookshanks glared balefully out from behind the bars of his cage, the silencing spell Theo had cast on him muting the no doubt angry yowls he was emitting. Hermione gasped and strode forward until she was level with Draco.

"Now just you listen to me Malfoy!" She growled, poking him the chest. "I don't know why you took my cat but I want him back! If I find that you've harmed one hair on him, I'll – "

"Now, now Granger." Interrupted Draco, pushing her hand off his chest with a sardonic grin. "We didn't do all of this just for the abuse, you know. You're a smart girl, I'm sure we can come to an arrangement."

"We don't do 'arrangements' with Slytherin tossers like you, Ferret." Interjected Ron, coming forward to stand by Hermione. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Oh, the _melodrama_." He sighed, waving a dismissive hand in the taller boys' direction. "Just be a good gorilla, will you, and leave the talking to Granger and I? Yes? Good."

Ignoring Ron's angry spluttering, Draco ploughed on.

"As I was saying, Granger, I believe we can come to an agreement. Return to Blaise the, uh, _items_ you confiscated from him, and_ then_ you can have your mangy cat back." Smirking in triumph, Draco watched with immense satisfaction as Hermione's face became a mask of goody-two-shoe-ness warring with the desire to rescue Crookshanks.

As Hermione suffered her internal battle, Blaise slipped Harry a sly nod and a wink. Tipping his head in acknowledgment, Harry surreptitiously aimed his wand at the lock on Crookshanks cage. Muttering a quiet _Alohamora_, quickly followed by a mild stinging hex aimed at the already enraged cat, Harry glanced quickly at Ron before relaxing. He hadn't noticed a thing.

As for Crookshanks, however, the poor feline had been pushed to his limits. Letting out an ear splitting yowl, he leaped forth from his newly broken prison and leapt for his nearest captor.

Draco's Quidditch refined reflexes saved him from a scratched face, but were not enough to save him from overbalancing as he leapt out of the demonic cats way. With a strangled curse (that sounded like too much of a yelp, for comfort) Draco went tumbling into the lake, taking Crookshanks with him.

A moment of shock paralysed the mismatched group before Ginny all but flew to the water's edge. Draco had not resurfaced.

"Draco!" She called out hesitantly, peering uncertainly into the murky depths. Still, nothing. Turning frantic eyes to meet the rest of the group she ignored Ron's piteous "She's calling Malfoy _Draco_" and glared at Blaise.

"Well? Aren't you going to _do_ something?" She demanded. Blaise sighed and spread his hands in a picture of remorse.

"I'm afraid that's simply impossible Red; I've only just styled by hair and Theo's allergic to helping those in need." He sighed, a regretful look on his face. Ginny could only stare helplessly at the other teens before cursing.

"If you want something done," she snarled as she kicked off her shoes and removed her tie, "do it your_self_!"

Ron clicked what she was doing just as she neatly dived in. "Ginny, no!" he snarled, his baby sister was _not_ trying to save the ferret! She wasn't! She was going to feed him to the Merpeople. Yes.

Theo was smirking from behind arched and entwined fingers, dark eyes observing The-Boy-Who-Schemed-With-Slytherins with a predatory gleam. The brash Gryffindor had been quite amenable to scheming with Blaise and himself, once he had been convinced of the advantages of the Weasley's getting off his back about sweeping Ginny off her feet. He couldn't do such a thing if she was with _Malfoy_ of all people.

Ignoring Granger and Weasley's fretting, Blaise sauntered casually to the edge; they should have emerged by now. Dismissing the male Weasley's demands to know what was going on with a disdainful flap of his hand, Blaise reviewed the plan thoughtfully.

It had been a simple one, they knew that Ginny would leap into fire to help Draco, so icy water wouldn't _too _much of a stretch. Ginny was then going to drag a gasping and wheezing Draco back to the bank, resuscitate him, (preferably with some tongue) and then Draco would admit his undying love for her and they would get married and have dozens of pink haired babies that Blaise would be Godfather to... well, maybe he would admit that he liked her and they would date.

But things were starting to _not_ go to plan.

A head broke the surface a few feet away from them, but it was alone. Blaise frowned, _where is Draco?!_

Tracking the redheads sure, strong armstrokes that were bringing her back to the bank, Blaise became aware of somebody stood next to him. Theo, probably.

"Blaise... why is Ginny in the lake?" Blaise jumped a foot in the air, twisting around with a rather violent expletive. A decidedly dry and composed Draco Malfoy stood by his side, one pale eyebrow raised.

"How did... but you were –" Blaise was lost for words. In the end he managed to force out; "You're _dry_!" To which Draco arched his other eyebrow.

"I believe I did learn a drying charm, once." He responded, dry as sticks. By this time the rest of the group onshore had noted the blond boys' presence. Chaos was just starting to ensue when a very wet, rather bedraggled redhead thrust herself into the groups midst.

"Well, _thanks _for giving me a hand out." She snapped, the sarcastic tone ruined slightly by her chattering teeth. Confusion crept across Draco's face.

"Ginny... did you jump in after me?" He asked, sounding unsure. Not noticing the fact that he had called her by her name. Ginny flamed scarlet; pearly white teeth chewing furiously at an already red, lower lip.

The two teenagers were oblivious to what was going on around them. Ron and Hermione had fallen silent in their demands to know what was happening, Theo and Harry watched with keen eyes to see what happened and Blaise... well, Blaise was starting think that the plan might not have veered _too_ far off course after all. Things could still work out.

"Ginny?" Draco prompted, still having not received an answer. Ginny tossed her head impatiently avoiding his eyes.

"Well yes, as you can _see_," she said, somewhat waspishly, "you didn't resurface and _somebody_ had to do something." Draco's eyebrows started to creep towards his hairline again.

"I just swam along a bit to find a better place to come up." He muttered, a faint pink staining his normally alabaster cheeks. Blaise started to grin. _Draco's bluuuushing, Draco's bluuuushing!_ He sang, mentally, of course. The gathered group waited with baited breath, entranced by the two plotters in their midst.

"Oh." Muttered Ginny awkwardly, after a long moment. Brown eyes rising hesitantly to meet grey, Ginny flushed again and went to look away. Long, slender fingers darted out to catch her chin. Ron's protests of "Don't touch my baby sister!", muffled by a thoughtful hand, didn't sink into either of them. Draco carefully examined those eyes, finding hesitance, fear, embarrassment and... something else? He let his fingers fall away, reluctantly.

"You're cold." He stated, suddenly, into the silence. Ginny gave a start; she'd been too busy trying to search those mercurial eyes to notice that her pebbled skin was shivering rather violently beneath her sopping wet clothes. She registered Draco raising his wand, and then a pleasant warmth stole over her skin, starting at her hairline and sweeping down over her shoulders, bust, hips and then down her legs, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation in her toes. Her eyes darted up once more.

"Thank you." She all but whispered. Something was changing; she felt as if she and Draco stood at a fork in the roads of their peculiar friendship. If they chose to take the same road, they risked ruining what they had; if they chose separate paths... would they be forever shadowed by regret?

Theo felt stretched tight as he watched his two friends stare uncertainly into each other's eyes; it was like standing on the very brink of a cliff and feeling both vertigo and common sense pulling at you. He wondered how they were coping, if that was how even he felt.

Draco took a deep breath, berated himself for behaving like a foolhardy Gryffindor, and grasped Ginny's head gently between two large hands, lips colliding with hers amidst gasps of shock from all 'round.

Ginny remained rigid in his arms for a mere half-second, shock ruling her, before she melted into his hold with a sigh, lips moulding to his with ease. Blaise hummed happily, holding out one hand imperiously in Harry's direction. With a dejected sigh, Harry pressed the solitary galleon into the darker boys hand; he still couldn't see how it had worked.

Suddenly, just as Ron began to turn his eighth shade of purple, an angry yowl broke the momentous moment, drawing all eyes to the same spot. Climbing out onto the bank, a very angry looking Crookshanks shook out his bushy tail, pausing a moment to level all of the gathered with a look bordering on murderous. Hermione went to scoop him up, but the cat had other ideas. Purposefully shaking water over his outstretched arms, he turned tail and stalked away up towards the castle. The effect only ruined slightly by the droop to his usually impressive tail.

They all watched his progress contemplatively for a moment, those who had been party to the several plots considering the successes and failures.

The quiet was disturbed after a few moments by Ron's quiet, bleak voice.

"If you're not out of my sight in about, oh.... five seconds, Ferret I'll –" But Ginny had grabbed Draco's hand and was already running, laughing with the hilarity of the situation. Draco allowed himself a small grin, the small hand gripping his own seeming to feed him with an exuberance Malfoy's simply didn't possess. Except in the bedroom.

Ron sent a few half cast, half hearted hexes after his blond nemesis and then sighed. It was, he decided, simply not worth the effort.

**A/N****:** Well, many months ago _scubarang_ had a rather awe-inspiring avatar named Pitty. The picture of the somewhat wet cat inspired me with the idea for this little oneshot. I'm sorry, love, I promised you this ages ago. I hope it provided some amusement, to those that read, it has not been Beta'd, so I apologise for any typo's etc.

Please do review; I rarely attempt humour, so any constructive criticism is welcome!

WishfulWhispers


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